Shopping with the DH

is not something I take lightly. The man loathes shopping, at least the kind of shopping I like. I am the kind of person who realizes I need clothes, but once I get to the mall I will happily look around, look at price tags and decide the clothes I have are good enough and come back home without buying anything. Better yet, I will buy things and then come back home, have a case of bad buyer’s remorse and then promptly go and return all I bought.

The only exception I have made to the above pattern is when I was shopping for a Girls’ trip to Las Vegas. Then, I went to a number of stores, tried out all manner of short, sexy clothing and did buy  myself quite a few things since my friends deemed that all the clothes I owned were frumpy and old lady like and completely not Vegas appropriate.

Well anyways, coming back to shopping with the DH – he has very little patience for my window shopping or the stuff I buy and return with regularity. DH is very focused in the way he shops whether it is for groceries or clothes or electronics. He will take inventory, make a list of all that is needed, chart out his stops. He will be gone for 3-4 hours and when he comes back he will have said items, that will get stowed away. He doesn’t ever second guess what he buys or suffers from buyer’s remorse.

So, in the last 12 years, we have decided to do our shopping separately. On an occasional weekday, I will tell him that I need to go shopping on the weekend. He will make sure to stay home and take care of DD while I am gone for 3-4 hours. On my return, he will not ask me what I spent my money on, whether I plan to return anything. He will ask to see whatever I buy for DD since he and I have different ideas on how she should dress (I prefer dresses and long flowy skirts, he prefers sweatpants, tights, leggings or jeans).

However, despite all our efforts there have been occasions when we’ve had to shop together. These have included buying furniture or big-ticket electronic items. When we first bought our house 8 years ago, DD was a new-born. I was dealing with the after effects of the C-section, the baby and worrying over how we’d move house. Brand new houses in the US generally come equipped with a dishwasher, as opposed to previously owned homes which may come with a refrigerator, washer dryer etc. Since we had our house constructed, we had to buy all the big-ticket items, namely the fridge, the washer and dryer.

Traipsing to the stores to look at various models of above-mentioned items was not my favorite thing to do what with DD and her erratic sleep schedules. So, I told DH to go and get whatever brands/models he was comfortable with. Our decision was made simple by the fact that after making the down payment on the house, there was hardly any money left. We got the most basic models of everything that was most essential. The rest of the furniture, we bought in the next 4-5 years whenever we had a little saved up. Our house was finally fully furnished in 2009, 5 years after we bought it.

I did accompany DH to buy a dining table and a bed for the master bedroom (we slept on a second-hand bed and mattress for 4 years after we got the house). On these occasions, our shopping trip started with DH saying “You can get whatever you want, I am there just to make the payment.” However in the first half hour it became clear to me that he had very specific ideas on what we would get. He didn’t like the modern lines of the dining table I chose or the dark wood I picked. After looking in 3 stores, I finally told him to get what he wanted. All i wanted was a dining table to entertain, it really mattered very little to me what color it was and whether it had the streamlined proportions that I look for. The bed, too after visiting 5 stores, I gave up on and he got something that he did not love. He liked it but didn’t love it. Sometimes, when he is upset, he will crib about it, still.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, this year, our dryer broke down on the day after New Year’s. The dryer was over 8 years old, I do a lot of laundry including washing sheets regularly every week. It was the basic model that we had bought in the days we were broke. So it didn’t surprise us that it gave out. On the 2nd of January, after trying to dry the same load of laundry the 5th time when I couldn’t make a dent in the damp condition of the clothes I told DH, we need a new dryer and while we are shopping for  new dryer, we might as well get a new washer as well since I didn’t want to go shopping for a new one 6 months down the line. DH agreed and we started making the rounds of the appliance stores. I had my washer dryer picked out at the first store we visited. It was a higher end model, a good brand and steeply marked down as part of the New Year’s sale. DH agreed it was a good buy and all we had to do was come home to see if the model we picked out would fit in the laundry room.

Our laundry room is tiny, barely 2 people can stand in it and it has 3 doors that open into it, a closet door, one door that leads into the house and one that leads to the garage. In the last 8 years, it seems washers dryers have become very large. So we would have to do some measuring to see if we would still be able to open all doors completely with the new purchases. I was thrilled that we had picked out a washer dryer in one outing and if it fit, we’d just place the order and have the same delivered.

In the time that it took us to drive home, though, it seems the DH had changed his mind. First off, he didn’t want a white washer dryer. Secondly, he wanted a different brand, just because he didn’t like the brand I had picked out and thirdly he was uncomfortable with the thought that he was going to buy a washer dryer from the very first store he had visited.

Once home, he started researching appliances on the internet, throwing wayward facts at me. Over the next week, we went to an additional 2 stores where DH looked at more washer dryers and part of his research included climbing into the washer dryer too. He said it was to see how big the drum was. Then out of the blue, one day while he’s researching, he tells me that we need to buy a red washer dryer.

I admit, I love the color red. I think that was obvious when at the age of 4 I pained an entire book cover to cover, red. it was the only cake that ever got used in my water-color paint set. My wardrobe largely consists of clothing in shades of red or black. I have painted a couple of walls red (see them here) and we have a red car, bought under duress since our  earlier car was totaled by a drunk driver and the insurance company would not pay for a rental car for more than 2 weeks. So we bought the red Toyota, much against the DH’s wishes since he does not like red. So the whole red washer dryer threw me for a loop. DH’s reasoning was i love red so I should have a red washer dryer. The man can’t give me red roses but he will insist on buying me a red washer dryer.

Unfortunately though the red washer dryer was out f stock. He waited for a week t see if our local store would restock it while I waited with a growing pile of laundry. I was still washing essentials in small piles and running the dryer several times to make sure we had  everyday clothes. In the second week of the DH’s research I finally lost it and said I wanted a washer dryer right then. He placed the order that night, it was not for the washer dryer I had picked. He ordered a rival brand’s product in graphite.

The day the washer dryer came I did 4 loads of laundry and I cannot tell you what a pleasure warm, dry towels are.

Now I wait with bated breath. The fridge is 8 years old as is the dishwasher. There’s going to be so much more research and arguments over blue and pink appliances.

This is the cause for all our excitement

Here’s the dress

And here are the shoes

Here’s the other dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here’s the other set of shoes!!

Here’s the hair accessory!!

NOW WE WAIT FOR THE BIRTHDAY GIRL TO MAKE HER GRAND APPEARANCE!! YIPPPEEEE…… DD TURNS 8 TODAY!! *Sniffle, sniffle, Sob, Sob* My Baby’s growing up way too quickly

She waits…

She wore green – his favorite color. Her freshly washed hair hung to her waist. Bangles tinkled on her wrists and a huge red bindi adorned her forehead. She waited by the window, her eyes peeled on the driveway. After all it is not everyday that your husband of 15 years takes you out on a date.

Hair-raising tale

Nidhi and Sukriti were on their way to college. It was their first day and while Nidhi was excited and talked a mile a minute, Sukriti was lost in her own thoughts. She wasn’t too happy about the college she had joined. It was one of the more hipper colleges in Delhi. While it was well-known for its academic standards, it also was where kids from prominent families came to study. The student body was a mix of the progeny of politicians’ and socialites and children from middle-class families. The class divide though, was clear. Students from different strata of society did not mix. They inhabited different social circles and there was a stigma attached to not being one of the “cool” kids.

“What are you thinking of? Are you nervous, Sukie?” asked Nidhi. “Nothing, just wondering how college is going to be, Nids.” said Sukriti. Nidhi went back to talking excitedly.. however what she was talking about, Sukriti could not say. She went back to her train of thought. No one would believe Nids and I are twins, she thought. Look at her, she’s so excited, confident and happy about starting a new phase of life. She had her outfit picked out a week ago. She knows exactly how to accessorize. She looks radiant, her hair’s all shiny and her makeup’s perfect. Look at me, on the other hand. I am wearing my ratty pair of jeans and a kurta that has faded after so many washes. All I did in order to accessorize was add a scarf. My hair’s a frizzy mess. She couldn’t even use a flat-iron anymore without causing large chunks of her hair to fall. The whole permanent hair straightening thing had backfired. Her hair had looked wonderful when she’d first got it done  Then her hair started to fall. Now 6 months later, her hair had thinned out, it was back to its frizzy self and it felt coarse and rough. At least she could take comfort in the fact that her clothes were comfortable and it was precisely for this reason that she’d worn them.

First day of college was just as difficult ad Sukriti had thought. Nids went ahead and made friends. Before the end of the day she had a group and it looked like she’d always belonged with them. Sukriti had tried to tag along but she felt so out-of-place that eventually she just went to the library when she didn’t have a class and managed to bury herself in a book.

At home, when their mom asked them about their first day of college, Nids talked and talked and talked. She told her mother about plans for the upcoming weekend, the culture club that she wanted to be a part of. Sukriti, on the other hand, just said her day was okay when Nids finally took a breath.

After their evening tea, Mom found Sukriti in her room, looking over the year’s syllabus. “Sukie, sweetie, did something happen at college?” asked Neha. “No mom, my day was okay.” said Sukriti. “Child, you’re a lousy liar and I can always see through your lies.” said Neha ruffling Sukie’s hair. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”

“Mom, Nids was so comfortable at college, she walked into class like she owned it. A half hour later, she was giggling and talking to half a dozen girls. She got invited to the movies by a couple of them. I, on the other hand, couldn’t pipe up to even introduce myself to anyone in class. Why are we so different, mom? Why can’t I be more like Nids?” said Sukriti quietly.

Neha saw the crumpled face of her younger twin and felt her eyes fill with tears. However, she forced a note of gaiety in her voice and said “Different’s not a bad thing, Sukie. If you and Nids were exactly the same, you’d be boring. She has her pluses and her minuses, too. She’s outgoing, talks a ton and suffers from over-confidence, occasionally. You are sensitive, caring and suffer from diffidence, all the time. Do you remember, Sukie, you were not always like this? You’ve always been shy and it’s always taken you a little time to open up but at school you were part of the music club. You edited your school magazine. You helped organize the school trip to Dehradun. It’s in the last 6 months that you’ve started cutting yourself off socially. It all has to do with the blasted hair straightening you got done. I wish I’d never agreed to it. you cried and whined and said you wanted hair like Nids, so I gave in to you. Not my best parenting moment.” sighed Neha. “But baby,” she continued “it’s not the end of the world. Sure, your hair’s not as long as it was before and it’s lost some of its thickness and it looks coarse, but with proper care and nourishment, it’ll come back. It’ll take a little time, is all. You’re not just your beautiful hair, Sukie.” she concluded. “But mom, it’s been six months, my hair loss has only gone up, not down. No oil treatment is making my hair softer. And even if my hair does become like it was before it’ll be a frizzy, curly nightmare. it won’t be anything like yours or Nids.” “Oh shush, child.” said Neha. “You are so focused on your hair that you don’t even see how pretty you are. You have such lovely features. Okay now enough of this moping around, your college years are going to be the best. You just have to give it some time.”

Unfortunately, Sukriti’s college life did not get very much better in the coming months. She made a couple of friends but she still spent most of her time in the library. Few people knew her and she was perfectly happy with that. Nidhi kept trying to include her in her group of friends but Sukriti resisted. Not only did she feel that she looked frumpy when compared to Nids and her group of friends but there was also this really cute guy – Rohan in the group that she had a major crush on. She couldn’t get a word out in his presence and she felt the whole world knew exactly the way she felt about him. Rohan had tried to get her to talk a couple of times but finding Sukriti tongue-tied, he’d given up on his efforts. Sukriti felt the best way to avoid any embarrassment was to stay away from Nids’s group.

6 months into college, a cultural event was to take place and their college was to host it. All colleges in the city would participate and there would be a number of inter-collegiate competitions in music, dance and sport. The event was to end with a fashion pageant. There was a lot of excitement about the event. It was a prestigious event and there had been a couple of very popular playback singers and choreographers that had been “discovered” at this event, previously.

Nids wanted to be part of the fashion pageant and she went all out at the auditions. With her tall, lithe figure and her radiant smile and the way she carried herself, it wasn’t surprising that she was picked. Nids kept asking Sukie to participate in the music competition. Sukie, however, was terrified of the sheer magnitude of the event and kept refusing. Nids was determined that her sister would sing at the competition. She took a video of one of her sister’s earlier performances to the audition along with a couple of trophies she’d won and convinced the selection committee that Sukie belonged in the competition – in fact she might even win it for their college. Now all that remained was to convince Sukie that big competition or not, she had the talent to impress.

Nids started bolstering Sukie at every opportunity she could find. She started nagging her to dress better. She wanted to try different hair styles on her. Sukie generally put up with her sister trying to give her a makeover but they did get into arguments and Sukie would generally end with “Leave me alone, I don’t want to be a glam doll like you. I’m happier being the wallflower.” A determined Nids was not be messed with, though. A couple of months before the cultural festival, Nids let Sukie know she had gotten her into the music competition. A lot of drama ensued. Eventually Neha and Nids convinced Sukie that she should participate. It would do wonders for her confidence. A very reluctant Sukie grumpily gave in.

As the day of the competition came closer, Sukie grew more nervous. Her rehearsals were going extremely well. She would, however, close her eyes and refuse to interact with the audience. It was the only way she could deal with people looking at her. 4-5 weeks before the competition, on a Sunday, Nids was making her argument about how interacting with the audience would enhance Sukie’s performance. “An engaging performer, one who looks like they’re having fun on stage is what the public wants. Not somebody who closes her eyes and looks like she just wants to be done. Your wanting to be a wallflower just makes no sense. You are petite, pretty, and with a little makeup and the right clothes, you will dazzle.” said Nids. “Yeah and what do you want to do with my hair. It’s still frizzy, looks lank and dry and I refuse to put any chemicals in it to tame it for I will pay the price later.” argued Sukie.

“I have something here, it’s a new line from Dove called Dove damage therapy. It has been developed exclusively for people like you with hair damage. Why don’t you try it?” asked Nids. “Nids, you know how wary I am of trying new hair products.” wailed Sukie. “It’s not like your current shampoo and conditioner is doing much for you. Try these products  for a couple of weeks. if you see no improvement, you can go back to your current hair regime. Better yet, I will pull you out of the competition too. I have read the reviews. Users claim Dove Damage therapy has done wonders for them. Why don’t you try it, please?” begged Nids

Reluctantly, Sukie agreed to try the product. She used it 3 times the first week and her hair felt softer to the touch. The frizz and the flyaway were considerably lesser. Hairfall seemed to be lessening too. She didn’t want to be overly optimistic but it seemed like Dove damage therapy was making a difference where everything else had failed before.

3 weeks into her new Dove damage therapy regime, Sukie’s hair bounced, shone with life and felt like silk. With her hair woes at an end, Sukie blossomed too. She became more confident, smiled a lot more and became more outgoing.

On the night of the competition, true to her sister’s prediction, she dazzled. That was the night Rohan very coyly asked if she’d go out for a cup of coffee with him and she, forgetting to be tongue-tied, said yes.

“And that was the end of my hair problems” concluded Sukriti Sehgal. She was being interviewed by Cosmo magazine for their Fun Fearless Females feature. As one of the hottest singing sensations in the country, Sukie definitely qualified. The music competition that she won had led to a gig with one of the more popular bands at college and had eventually won her a recording contract 2 years later. Her hair, once the cause of her low self-esteem shined with health. It still was curly, but it hung to her lower back and was thick and felt like a sheet of silk. Sukie loved running her fingers through it and it was the one thing she was complimented on over and over again.

This is an official entry for the “My Beautiful Hair story” contest on Indiblogger

Disclaimer: Any mention of the after effects of permanent hair straightening in this blog post are purely fictional.

https://www.facebook.com/dove/app_127320750626819

Bunk beds and braces

The last 3 weeks have brought home to me the fact that DD is growing up and quickly. Why this epiphany over the last 3 weeks, you ask. Well, a couple of things happened that made it amply clear that I don’t have a baby anymore. That she is fast turning into an individual – a very opinionated, smart, clear thinking, though not always logical, individual.

Late last month DD got braces. I have always associated getting braces with being a tween or a teen. After all you have to lose all your baby teeth and have your permanent ones come in before you can sport all that metal on your pearly whites. It turns out that with the kind of teeth DD has – chipmunk teeth as we affectionately call them or buck teeth as they are popularly known – the braces need to be put on the front two teeth to push them back and straighten them. So her four top front teeth now have braces – they are the only permanent teeth she has on her upper jaw.

She has to wear these for 6-9 months and then follow this up with a retainer for 4 years and then once all her permanent molars come in, we’ll have to get her braces for the teeth on her lower jaw. This is going to be one long, time-consuming process. Braces come with a lot of responsibility. DD now brushes 3-5 times a day – after every meal. She cannot drink soda, sugary drinks, cannot consume anything that’s hard or pokey like chips, pizza crust and she absolutely can’t have chocolate since all these things may get caught in her braces and soda causes scarring. She’s handled the responsibility and the restrictions like a champ, so much so that she was at her best friend’s birthday today and she refused soda and apple juice of her own volition since both contained loads of sugar. She also refused chocolate cake.

To me, it’s easy to treat DD like a baby since a lot o her behavior is very similar to how it was 2-3 years ago. She still prefers it if I feed her every meal of the day, she loves it when I wash her hair. 3 years ago she chopped her friend’s hair off much to my consternation since they were playing hair dresser (this is grist for a separate post) She cut her bangs off, badly – I might add, a couple of months ago since she couldn’t get the tangles out of her hair when she was brushing the same. She still has the same number, if not more, stuffed toys that accompany her to bed every night. She still manages to make her way to our bed most nights, oftentimes causing either DH or me to sleep on the couch.

However, I have to concede she has matured. She makes a very strong case when she truly believes in something, she’s very articulate, she has started asking for more alone time these days. She has grown up enough to not end up teary-eyed when one of her friends ignores her or is not particularly nice to her. Instead, she tells them that they’re probably having a bad day and that they can play separately until her friend decides to get her act together.

Plus, today DD got her bunk bed. She’s gone from a crib to her Hot Pink toddler/young girl bed to a bunk bed. And today after I finally got the sheets and pillow cases on the mattresses, I stood there for a minute thinking back to the day when we moved into this house and DD’s crib stood where the bunk bed stands today. This, then finally, unequivocally told me that I have a child that’s grown up.

Here are pictures of the braces and the various transformations of her bedroom.

Signed,

Mom to a quickly growing baby girl.

Room transformation

Her crib that she used until she was over 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

The mural on the wall in her room that a very dear friend of mine painted. It’s still on the wall though I am sure she’ll want it gone by the time she’s 10.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The hot pink young girl bed

The Bunk Bed