The ‘Just Married, Please Excuse’ contest

Yahodhara Lal is amongst the first bloggers I started reading when I discovered the blogosphere. Hers was the blog that literally had me ROFL. I have shared posts of her with the DH and the man who loudly proclaims he won’t read actually read several of her posts and laughed until his belly ached.

Well, all that experience with blogging paid off. Her debut book’s out. It’s called Just Married, Please Excuse. The book reviews are in and they all maintain the book’s awesome. As part of the book launch Yashodhara is having a contest. The rules of the contest can be found here. Per the contest, I am required to share a funny story from our early days of marriage. 

So here’s my entry to the contest. It is an old post of mine but like expensive, vintage wine, it gets better with time. I don’t live in Delhi but I could send friends of mine to the restaurant  if I win. In any case, I’d like a copy of the book as it is not available on Amazon, yet.

People back home, please read Yashodhara’s blog. Buy her book, that way if I don’t win, I can borrow your copy.

Did I tell you…

about the time DH forgot to tell people he was married? Please pick your jaws up off the floor. The man plain forgot to tell people he was married.

So, after we got married and had spent a month together (no honeymoon period this  ) DH decides to accept a position in the US. This is a 6 month contract and he wants to see what all the hullaballoo is with living in the US. I had a job back in India so i went back to slogging my a$$ off back home and commuting between the parents’ and the in-laws’ while he moved to the US and found shared accommodation with a few others in a similar situation. Me thinks, he was trying to take a last stab at bachelorhood.

Well, his days of freedom were numbered. Soon, his contract position became a full-time job and lo and behold, I had sprouted wings and flown to join my beloved

Once I got over my jet lag and was ready to take on my role as social butterfly (no raised eyebrows, please), DH takes me to the local recreation center where he plays badminton every evening. And, I like a pativrata (dutiful) wife sit and watch him and applaud at all appropriate times. A couple of days into this routine, DH finishes a close doubles game and wins and the whole group joins us spectators. Introductions are made and as DH discusses some finer points with teammates and opponents, one of the players comes up and we start talking. He asks “When did you come to the US? Are you over your jet lag?” Then suddenly he says “So, you’re living with him?” I wasn’t quite sure I’d understood his question correctly, so I said “Yes.” Then he says “Are you going to stay with him until you find accommodation with other girls?” This is getting curioser and curioser (Thank you Lewis Carroll for coming up with the word). I say “No, I plan to stay with him.” So, he says “Oh you guys are living together because you eventually plan to marry each other?”

Now, I know for sure, that this guy is getting something wrong. So I say “We’re married.” Well I almost pulled out my thaali (mangal sutra) and said “Avar yenna thottu taali kattinnavaru.”  For those that don’t understand Tamil, this is a dialog that has been used as nauseam in Tamil movies with high doses of tears and melodrama thrown in. Given that the guy was Tamil-speaking, he’d have definitely understood the sentiment but I was so shocked that all I could think to do was reassure him of my marital status in the first language available.

The guy stuttered and stammered, looked up and down and then said “Well, he never told us he was married.” The latter part of our conversation has been heard by all around us and they all start on variations of “Dude, you never mentioned you were married.” One other guy says, “I was planning to talk to you about a cousin of mine who is of marriageable age” all while I look on incredulously.

Eventually DH says “Yeah, I’m married, have been for 6 months.I just forgot to tell you all.”

That’s DH for you, will remember lyrics to obscure songs and  titles of movies that a mere 4 people may have seen but may very well forget to tell you that he’s married. 

We have a published author in our midst

Bhargavi, one of my “friends” from the blog world is to be a published author soon. She writes chick-lit  (Mills and Boon aka my guilty pleasure) type of stuff . She’s working on a more serious piece of literature as well, but the Chick Lit is being published first. I am going to urge you to go buy the book. It should be available online and in stores soon and at a deep discount around Valentine’s. (More details to be found on her site, I’ve linked to it below). So guys, this could be part of your gift this V day. (Give only the book and your love life is going to suffer, the book should be administered with chocolates, jewellery and/or flowers).

I am linking to her blog post here. This is definitely on my list of things to buy. Read the book and let her know what you think.

Just in case you are wondering why you should do this… I’ll lay it down for you. Let’s assume we all buy her book, spread the word around and she becomes a best-selling author. A couple of years go by – Now you want to write a book. Hello, enough with the horrified expression. We’re all at heart, frustrated writers. We blog because we think if people are not going to pay to read me then I will make them read my work for free. And yes, somewhere deep down.. no no reach down further, oh ya, right there, in that dark, hidden corner of your heart, you’re hoping you’ll be discovered by a publisher by way of your blog.

So, coming back to the point… she’s a best-selling author and you want to write a book. She can open doors for you. Imagine this, instead of your manuscript being thrown into the trash, it actually makes its way to the editor’s desk because Bhargavi has very kindly agreed to write a note to go along with it or better yet, call the editor for you. (Bhargavi, I have committed you to doing way too much. You can kill me later, at your own leisure). And then, maybe, you have a shot at getting published. And then I will follow the same process with another blog post like this one. Lather, rinse, repeat.

So people, start ordering…

Bhargavi: We all will get together and scratch your back (no, don’t visualize it) and you can scratch ours later. We will be calling in our marker, soon. Good luck babes….

My favorite books are…. and yours are???

Since I did the last post on Gone with the Wind, I decided I should continue the theme and make this next one about books as well.  I am going to list my favorite books here and a line or two on why I like them.

Also, as a first for me, I am going to tag a few other people to do the same. I believe what we read provides an insight into the kind of people we are. I think it’s also a great way to find other good books to read. I am looking for some good authors whose works I can sink my teeth into.

If you blog and I haven’t tagged you, I’d request you to go ahead and take this up. I’m new to the blogging world and may or may not have tagged you due to my recent introduction to the medium. The people I have tagged, you probably are unaware of my existence but I have read all of your work and am a huge fan and would like to connect with you, hence the tag

For those of you that do not blog, feel free to start blogging or let me know what your favorite books are by way of comments.

So here’s my list

Gone with the Wind: My reasons for loving this book are listed here

Scarlett: The sequel to Gone with the Wind, although panned by critics, is a favorite because, clichéd as it sounds, it has a happy ending

The Harry Potter series: It combines my favorite elements of magic, boarding school mischief, love, friendship and the victory of good over evil

Envy: This is one of those good revenge stories that you want to sink your teeth into

Atlas Shrugged: It was a loong book, an incredibly complicated book but well worth reading. It got me thinking.

Maeve Binchy: This is not a book, she’s an author whose works I have enjoyed immensely. She writes about regular people who are heroic in their everyday lives.

Interpreter of maladies: The best set of short stories I have read in recent times. Insightful, simple and it exposes human frailties touchingly

The Namesake: How can I not love this book? It’s the story of an immigrant Indian woman. Also, one of those books where I enjoyed the movie adaptation as well.

Now, the tag

A Wing and A Prayer

Chandni

The Mad Momma

Maid In Malaysia

Dipali

Favorite Things

Let us in on your favorite books, so I can raid the library, pronto.

Gone with the wind

I just finished reading Gone with the Wind for the 8th or the 9th time. For the longest time, I have wondered what it is that draws me towards this book. Normally, I shrug my shoulders and say its just the love story, that’s what it is. This time though, I gave it a little more thought and this is what I came up with.

The book has a very unique protagonist. Scarlett is not an ideal heroine by any measure. Her flaws are legion. She’s willful, spoilt, pampered, and almost cruel at times. Yet, through the book, never once did I feel the urge to say “Serves you right.” In a lot of ways, one tends to identify with this child. Which one of us at the age of 16 hasn’t had the urge to stamp our feet and want our way in life?

Yet, when her world turns topsy-turvy , she doesn’t give up like some of the other prominent characters in the book. She fights with the tools available to her- her charm, her ability to flirt, her green eyes and yes, even a dress made from velvet curtains. Some of the better virtues, she leaves by the wayside, never to bother with them again. The ones she’s unable to kick to the curb like Southern hospitality – she makes her dislike for them obvious. Yet, she sticks by family and friends. Takes responsibility for them, makes promises and keeps them.

Throughout the book, her nature struggles against all that her mother has taught her. She’s true to her nature most of the time yet she suffers pangs of regret for disregarding her mother’s teachings. Her conscience does not let her cheat and lie in peace and that’s probably why she garners sympathy. She knows the difference between right and wrong and chooses the wrong path because it leads to food and money and safety and security. In a world torn by war and oppression how else does one survive?

She’s judged harshly by society, accused of adultery and being unwomanly. She maintains she has enough money to ask all her detractors to go to hell but she bemoans the loss of the people that criticize her because their struggles are the same as hers. Only, they chose a different way to deal with them.

She owns businesses at a time when women are supposed to be sheltered, protected creatures. That she owns businesses is not her biggest crime, though. That she’s more successful at them than her male counterparts is the crime she’s never forgiven for.

The other fantastic thing about this book is that some things hold true even 2 centuries later

There’s more money to be made in breaking up a civilization than in building one up. Perfect examples include the recent wars.

Politicians will profit from war as will other unscrupulous characters

Politicians will lie as long as the lies ensure they hold onto their seats of power

How you deal with adversity determines whether you end up a winner or a loser.

Women will be judged harshly for whatever they do outside the house and the judgement will be harsher if they are successful at it.

The unrequited love story is the other reason I like this book. The alpha male, egotistical Rhett Butler falls in love with Scarlett for the very qualities the Southern society abhors her for – a sharp head for numbers, a certain ruthlessness when it comes to achieving her objectives and the desire to get ahead.

He wants to give her an easy life, he spoils her, he teaches her to have fun. Does everything to show her he loves her except use the words. And his last speech to her where he says I have exhausted all my love for you, rings true.  How often do we take the love of the people in our life for granted? How shocking to realize that even the people who love us will one day tire of waiting for our reciprocation and walk away.

As far as characters go, Scarlett remains my favorite despite the several thousand books I have read since. She’s as human as you and I. Her struggles are our struggles and how she deals with them may have something for us to learn from. If nothing else, we could always say “I’ll think about it tomorrow, after all, tomorrow is another day.”